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If Programming Languages Were Everyday People

Like yourself, I have contemplated a lot about coding languages. Why are there so many? Which one is best? Why are some so difficult to use? If coding languages were people, who would they be? Today, we are going to discuss the latter. We have compiled all of our favourite programming languages and turned them into everyday people. Please enjoy and let us know of any other programming languages that should be added.

JavaScript – An Annoying Jazzercise Instructor That Has Interactive Classes

JavaScript is one of the most popular and powerful programming languages in the world. JavaScript makes webpages more interactive – just like your friendly neighbourhood jazzercise instructor. Whether you are adding effects, creating pop-up windows or creating simple games on your website, you will likely be using JavaScript. JavaScript is used on almost every website in some way or another. Although every website basically runs on JavaScript, some ways that major companies use JavaScript specifically include LinkedIn’s back-end (as well as NodeJS), Facebook’s entire platform and Google’s app engine. There are millions of examples of companies that use JavaScript.

JavaScript character
Java – That Really Social Kid in High School That Everyone Seemed To Like

Java is one of the most widely adopted programming languages and it is not going anywhere anytime soon. Everyone seems to use it, it is scalable, readable and simple. It doesn’t make many enemies except for all those requests for updates. However when it comes to developers, Java is that really social kid from high school. They weren’t the fastest, they weren’t the most intelligent, but they were definitely appreciated all around the school yard. Some of the companies that use Java to power their websites include LinkedIn, Amazon and everyone’s favourite constructive use of time – Netflix.

Java character
SQL – A Librarian That Knows Where to Find Any Data

SQL is a powerful coding language that many websites and programs use to access databases. Similar to that local Librarian whose skills include shhh-ing and finding a plethora or information for you. While being a great tool for utilizing databases, it also it the framework for some off the most popular mobile apps. Have you head of Google, Skype or Dropbox? They all use SQL directly.

SQL character
C++ - An Old Track Star That Can Still Beat the Youngsters in Races

C++ is great for performance critical apps. When you need to code something that needs processing speed then C++ is where you may want to begin. Though created way back in 1983, like that old track star, C++ is still widely used and is still one of the best for optimizing speed in development. Without C++, we wouldn’t have the same Abode, Microsoft, and Mac OS/X platforms that many people use every day.

C++ character
C# - The One Youngster Who Beats the Old Track Star

Similar to C++, C# is built for speed, but came into the wonderful world of coding at the turn of the millennium in 2000. Built on the foundations of C and C++, C# may be young but has definitely earned some respect for developers. Though .NET is now the major coding language used in Windows, C# still has a share of some major platforms. Microsoft’s SharePoint is built on C#, as well as all HP drivers and also every developers’ favourite resource for coding support, Stack Overflow, is built on C#.

C# character
Python – A Kindergarten Teacher

Python is very simple and very readable. When it comes to teaching beginners (which nowadays could be kindergarteners) how to code, Python has become one of the popular options. Because of its teachability, Python is the programming language that is used on many library-esque websites such as NASA, PBS and Reddit.

Python character
PHP – The Chaperone at Summer Camp

PHP is everywhere. Whether you like it or not. Originally not intended to be a programming language, but as you web developers know, it has become a pretty big deal. PHP is great for simple actions, but is also scalable for large projects. Many – and when I say many, I mean a lot – programs use some element of PHP. Some of the most substantial programs built on PHP include WordPress, Digg and Wikipedia.

PHP character
FileMaker – A Trades Worker with Oddly Specific Skills

FileMaker is a very helpful programming language. It lets users create simple database applications, but also allows skilled developers to create more robust systems. FileMaker developers have a unique skillset and like trade workers with oddly specific skills are a very valued commodity. Apple, of which FileMaker is a subsidiary, has databases built on FileMaker. Other prestigious companies that have systems built on FileMaker include The New York Times and Harvard University.

FileMaker character
Ruby on Rails – A LEGO Master Builder

Ruby on Rails is known for its use in rapid development. Similar to Lego bricks, Ruby on Rails has many third party libraries that have pre-coded code that allows for developers to pick and choose their building blocks. The pick and choose mentality that has helped Ruby on Rails grow can be used by both start-ups and large corporations. Some popular companies that have web apps that are built on Ruby on Rails include Twitter, GitHub and Hulu.

Ruby on Rails character
iOS / Swift – The Cool Guy in Town Who Tries To Convince Everyone To Start Up a Business With Him

When that new guy moved into town and tried to convince everyone to join in on his plans, how did that make you feel? It was probably similar to when Apple decided that they did not want to use any of these previous coding languages and decided to launch their own. Apparently, it is very similar to C++ and is used to optimize apps for Apple products. Though many more will likely join the party eventually, major companies have already used Swift to build their applications. These companies include American Airlines, LinkedIn and Duolingo.

Swift character

In Conclusion

Thank you for joining us for this fun article. If you have any questions, concerns, complaints or additions, please let me know in the comments below. My researching and interview skills helped write this blog, so if there are any points that don’t make sense, let me know and I will fix the problems. Or if you like the blog, feel free to comment also.

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And as always, Thanks for Reading!

Steve Malott

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